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- Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift
Part III: A Voyage to Laputa, Balnibarbi, Luggnagg, Glubbdubdrib, and Japan Chapter V.
[The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The academy largely described. The arts wherein the professors employ themselves.]
I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days to the academy. Every room has in it one or more projectors; and I believe I could not be in fewer than five hundred rooms. The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places. His clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same colour. He has been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of CUCUMBERS, which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers. He told me, he did not doubt, that, in eight years more, he should be able to supply the governor's gardens with sunshine, at a reasonable rate: but he complained that his stock was low, and entreated me "to give him something as an encouragement to ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear season for CUCUMBERS." I made him a small present, for my lord had furnished me with money on purpose, because he knew their practice of begging from all who go to see them.
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Kramer and Poppie in the kitchen of the restaurant, making the first 'test pizza.'
KRAMER (in a chef's hat and apron): Alright, put a little sauce on here...
<speaks some unintelligible words in an Italian accent while spreading the sauce around.> Some cheese...
POPPIE: Not too much!
KRAMER: And...
CUCUMBERS! <Grabs a large handful and puts them on the pizza.>
POPPIE: Wait a second...what is that?
KRAMER: It's
CUCUMBERS.
POPPIE: No, no.
You can't put CUCUMBERS on a pizza.
KRAMER: Well, why not? I like
CUCUMBERS.
POPPIE: That's not a pizza. It'll taste terrible.
KRAMER: But that's the idea, you make your own pie.
POPPIE: Yes, but we cannot give the people the right to choose any topping they want! Now on this issue there can be no debate!
KRAMER: What gives you the right to tell me how I would make my pie?
POPPIE: Because it's a pizza!
KRAMER: It's not a pizza until it comes out of the oven!
POPPIE: It's a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough!
KRAMER: No, it isn't!
POPPIE: Yes, it is!
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