Starship Asterisk*

I wish to complain about posts in Asterisk designed to complain... Except for this one.

These complaint posts have little to do with astronomy and likely just indicate someone having a bad day.

I’m paying good money to see posts in Asterisk on astronomy and I… wait a minute… I’m not paying for Asterisk… oops… Never mind!

I would much prefer these “bad day” folks to just simply tell us why they’re having a bad day rather than complain about the APOD.

For example, post something like… I don’t like today’s APOD… I’m having a bad day because__________ _____ __________. i.e. (“My parents spoiled me and I want everyone else to spoil me too!”) or perhaps (“My boss is making me work instead of surf the internet!”)

Some Asterisk folks might respond with kind encouragement.

But remember… if it weren’t for bad days we wouldn’t know a good day.

MrEd

PS - This horse isn't dead but it is the closest I could find on short notice.

Hi Ed!
I think sometimes the best thing to do with complainers is to ignore them. The more you reply to them the more they carry on.

Orin

Hi Orin,

Your absolutely right... I was hoping to lighten up the complaint department. Just for fun.

We can take ourselves too serious sometimes.

Problem and solution ...

emc wrote:I would much prefer these “bad day” folks to just simply tell us why they’re having a bad day rather than complain about the APOD.

Monty Python wrote:Once upon a time, long, long ago, there lay in a valley far, far away in the mountains the most contented kingdom the world has ever known. It was called Happy Valley, and it was ruled over by a wise old king called Otto. And all his subjects flourished and were happy, and there were no discontents or grumblers, because wise King Otto had had them all put to death, along with the trade union leaders, many years before. And all the happy folk of Happy Valley sang and danced all day long, and anyone who was for any reason miserable or unhappy or who had any difficult personal problem was prosecuted under the Happiness Act.

emc wrote:We can take ourselves too serious sometimes.

Abner Doubleday wrote:Don't take the World Serious.

But you don't understand!

If my life isn't perfect it somebody’s fault and someone needs to fix it right away!

When is everything going to be just right for me?


Answer: Not on this side of the Pearly Gates

Dr. Skeptic wrote:... When is everything going to be just right for me?


Answer: Not on this side of the Pearly Gates

I have a cat named Pearly Gates... relatively small but keeps the other cats in line.

You know how I hate to mix religion and Physics or metaphysics with philosophy, but would St. Peter know which way to send Schrödinger's cat without opening the box?

apodman wrote:You know how I hate to mix religion and Physics or metaphysics with philosophy, but would St. Peter know which way to send Schrödinger's cat without opening the box?

That begs the questions:

• Do cats have souls?
  Do they need to be sent anywhere?

no

It may be better to ask cats for their opinions. Then we will know.

bystander wrote:That begs the questions: Do cats have souls? Do they need to be sent anywhere?

You skipped the first question: Is Schrödinger's cat still alive? Fifty percent of boxed cats should be returned in good condition to their rightful physicists.

What do you get when you cross a physicist with a cat?

A furry scientist that gets a big bang out of string theory

apodman wrote:You skipped the first question: Is Schrödinger's cat still alive? Fifty percent of boxed cats should be returned in good condition to their rightful physicists.

It also leaves out "If sent, would they go?" It's been my experience with cats that you can only get them to do what they want to do. The problem is more convincing them it was their idea to go.

Doum wrote:It may be better to ask cats for their opinions. Then we will know.

I somehow doubt that cats are any better equipped to definitively answer these questions about themselves than we are about ourselves.

<<"John Prine - Please Don't Bury Me

Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:

Please don’t bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I’d druther have "em" cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don’t mind the size
Give my stomach to milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get "em" out of here
Venus de milo can have my arms
Look out! I’ve got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to rose

Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Don’t pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
It’s a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ___ goodbye">>

This is what I love about Internet forums: the sudden shifts in topics from complaints about complaints to cats to John Prine lyrics. Way cool!

=D

hehehe.... got me a nice lil' laugh from this topic. =b

At least there are more positive Petes than negative Nancys...

But you are right EMC... one day an image is non-astronomy related and the gates of hell doth open. O.o

Cats actually have it all figured out.

Tatiana wrote:Cats actually have it all figured out.

At least they think they do. But just from observation, I have my doubts.

bystander wrote:

Tatiana wrote:Cats actually have it all figured out.

At least they think they do. But just from observation, I have my doubts.

Cats have us figured out... that's all they needed.

Law of Cat Inertia

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside
force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.



Law of Cat Motion

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to
change direction.



Law of Cat Magnetism

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the
darkness of the fabric.



Law of Cat Thermodynamics

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which
case all heat flows to the cat.



Law of Cat Stretching

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just
taken.



Law of Cat Sleeping

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as
uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the
cat.



Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has
anything remotely interesting on it.



Law of Cat Obstruction

A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of
human foot traffic.



Law of Cat Acceleration

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.



Law of Dinner Table Attendance

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.



Law of Rug Configuration

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.



Law of Obedience Resistance

A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do
something.



First Law of Energy Conservation

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore,
use as little energy as possible.



Second Law of Energy Conservation

Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.



Law of Refrigerator Observation

If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take
out something good to eat.



Law of Electric Blanket Attraction

Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.



Law of Random Comfort Seeking

A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any
given room.



Law of Bag/Box Occupancy

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest
possible nanosecond.



Law of Cat Embarrassment

A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the
amount of human laughter.



Law of Milk Consumption

A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.



Law of Furniture Replacement

A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the
furniture.



Law of Cat Landing

A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of
an unsuspecting, reclining human.



Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk
consumed.



Law of Cat Disinterest

A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a
human expends in trying to interest him.



Law of Pill Rejection

Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

I would like to complain about people who think that just because something is free, you should never complain about it, but just love sky high, no matter what, or stay away.

Also these people tend to just have to read the complaint threats, even though they seem to bother them so much. They fail to understand that, OF COURSE you will get complaints in the forum for any site. It's a big part of the point of it. This way people get a place to air and share their complaints, and the authors avoid some emails they otherwise would have gotten.

NOT EVERYTHING ABOUT APOD IS GOOD. And it's ok to complain about it!

I would like to complain about these people who think that if you like a site and use a site, then every single thing you say about it must be over the top lovingly positive jumping around joyful. And if there is any little part of the site that you express any hint of dissatisfaction about, then you are the devil and should just stay away, because its free.

orin stepanek wrote:Hi Ed!
I think sometimes the best thing to do with complainers is to ignore them. The more you reply to them the more they carry on.

Orin

And I guess you are one of those that think that if you don't write the last post in a debate, then the other person is the one that just keeps on and on.

Or is it that you think that your word is law, so if you write something that doesn't agree with what they complained about, then they must agree with you, and therefore not argue against it?

If you choose to reply to them, whey should they not reply to you?

When they finally get around to publishing that mass hypnotic APOD, the complaints will stop suddenly. It is then incumbent upon anyone who did not view it and is not hypnotized to notice the complaints have stopped and really raise the alarm.

The second half of the purpose of my posts is to elicit a response from another one of you so that your post might bring me enlightenment and entertainment. If I should ever get the last word, it is through failure to achieve the second half of my purpose, not through a desire to nail my nameplate to the caboose. Heck, my name is phony anyway. And it's unimaginable that anyone would view one of my posts as summing up a subject so well that no further comment is required. So if you see apodman listed as the last post, please believe something is very wrong and fix it right away. I want you to go on and on. If you have trouble quitting, you can always join on-and-on-anon.