Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)

[Beyond]

A bicycle can't stand alone. It's two tired.

[BMAONE23]

Those who get to BIG for their pants will be exposed in the end.

[Beyond]

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

[Beyond]

The thing about pears, is that they come in singles.

[BMAONE23]

You have 24 odds and ends on a table. If 23 of them fall off, what do you have left?

[Beyond]

You have 24 odds and ends on a table. If 23 of them fall off, what do you have left?

Oddly enough, an even bigger mess of odds and ends on the floor.

[brucesdad13]

So a neutrino is sitting at the bar, drinking heavily.

"Another wiskey!" shouts the neutrino.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" asks the bar keep.

"Nah, they just go right through me!"




ba dum tss

Har har

[Beyond]

HEADLINE: Woman steals 131 pairs of underpants from Walmart. ... Seems a bit odd, to me.

[Moonlady]

dumdidumdidum...(adding some characters because I was asked to....)

[Moonlady]

you can't get enough characters, can't you!

[Moonlady]

meanwhile, on Mars

[Ann]

Moonlady, so good of you to drop in!!! And thanks for the laughs!

Ann

[Ron-Astro Pharmacist]

I hate to admit this but I could not come up with yesterday's Jumble puzzle. The letters were s-o-p-u-a-t-c-e-i-r-o-s-u. The clue was : The universe is home to so many planets, stars and galaxies because it's- "5 letter word - 8 letter word" with a picture of a teacher at the blackboard depicting a dark, night sky stating, "The nearest galaxy closest to us is 2.5 million light years away!"

Being an astronomy-minded person I had to get this. Not to be – my wife figured it out first for which I give her tons of credit.

Outer Spacious

Pretty Cool!!
https://unclerave.wordpress.com/2015/08 ... er-082515/

[Ron-Astro Pharmacist]

While playing poker with friends the other night someone made a remark about the current state of "men of our ages" sex lives. One of the guys stated, "All that Viagra does for me is give me a stiff neck!" The pharmacist in me immediately thought along professional lines and said, "That means you need to take it with a bigger sip of water."

[BMAONE23]

What did the Prostate say to the Testicle?

There is a Vas Deferens between us

[ddorn777]

This one is about as astronomical as I have in my arsenal:




Darth Vader: "Luke Skywalker (heavy breathing) I know what you're getting for Christmas (more heavy breathing)

Luke: "How?"

Darth Vader: "I felt your presents"

[BMAONE23]

Who does the world's largest shark see when they need braces?

The Megalodontist

[Moonlady]

today

[Moonlady]

leaving space-land and transform 3-d female subject into a line-citizen to enter two-dimensional-land.

Click to play embedded YouTube video.

[BMAONE23]

What do you call "Gliding down the side of a public right-of-way on the backs of feudal slaves"?

sidewalk serfing

[Beyond]

How about an Astronomically Bad (Or good) Astronomical Commercial?

Click to play embedded YouTube video.

[Ann]

On the Moon, no one can hear you

f**t.

Click to view full size image

What a bean-o-rama!

Ann

[Moonlady]

http://www.spacecentre.co.uk/space-now/ ... n-in-space

"bottom cough"
you can call flatulence that too.

silent and "deadly butt problems"

http://www.themarysue.com/space-farts/

[Beyond]

Click to play embedded YouTube video.

[Beyond]

Click to play embedded YouTube video.