Stream of Stuff

[makc]

Click to play embedded YouTube video.

I see your lady in white and raise you this lady in red

[geckzilla]

Boob physics. Appropriate or inappropriate for an astronomy forum? These are the questions I ask myself.

[neufer]

Boob physics. Appropriate or inappropriate for an astronomy forum? These are the questions I ask myself.

[c]A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown
Charles E. Siem[/c]
<<Since the beginning of recorded history, the human being has worn some sort of clothing either for protection or warmth. However, the present trend among the "fair sex" is to wear clothing not for protection or warmth, but solely to attract the attention of the opposite sex. To be more specific, it is through the use of clothing that the female most effectively catches the eye of the very appreciative but totally unsuspecting male.

A variety of methods are employed to bring about this libido-awakening infliction on the poor male. One very popular method employed by the female is to wear transparent or seemingly transparent cloth to good advantage in certain areas. A common example is the transparent nylon blouse. Another powerful attractant is the tightly fitted garment. A well-known example of the type of weapon is the sweater. Yet another provoking method is by actually reducing the extent of body surface covered by cloth. A good example of this method is the modern bathing suit (e.g., Bikini). A delightful device which has sufficiently aroused the masculine sex is the use of durable but fragile-appearing cloth which gives the impression that at any moment the garment will slip down or that, better yet, certain parts may slip out of place. The best example of this method of attracting the attention of the weak and susceptible male is the strapless evening gown.

Effective as the strapless evening gown is in attracting attention, it presents tremendous engineering problems to the structural engineer. He is faced with the problem of designing a dress which appears as if it will fall at any moment and yet actually stays up with some small factor of safety. Some of the problems faced by the engineer readily appear from the following structural analysis of strapless evening gowns.

If a small elemental strip of cloth from a strapless evening gown is isolated as a free body in the area of plane A in Figure 1, it can be seen that the tangential force F1 is balanced by the equal and opposite tangential force F2. The downward vertical force W(weight of the dress) is balanced by the force V acting vertically upward due to the stress in the cloth above plane A. Since the algebraic summation of vertical and horizontal forces is zero and no moments are acting, the elemental strip is at equilibrium.

Consider now an elemental strip of cloth isolated as a free body in the area of plane B of figure 1. The two tangible forces F1 and F2 are equal and opposite as before, but the force W(weight of dress) is not balanced by an upward force V because there is no cloth above plane B to supply this force. Thus, the algebraic summation of horizontal forces is zero, but the sum of the vertical forces is not zero. Therefore, this elemental strip is not in equilibrium; but it is imperative, for social reason, that this elemental strip be in equilibrium. If the female is naturally blessed with sufficient pectoral development, she can supply this very vital force and maintain the elemental strip at equilibrium. If she is not, the engineer has to supply this force by artificial methods.

In some instances, the engineer has made use of friction to supply this force. The friction force is expressed by F = fN, where F is the frictional force, f is the coefficient of friction and N is the normal force acting perpendicular to F. Since, for a given female and a given dress, f is constant, then to increase F, the normal force N has to be increased. One obvious method of increasing the normal force is to make the diameter of the dress at c in figure 2 smaller than the diameter of the female at this point. This has, however, the disadvantage of causing the fibers along the line c to collapse, and if too much force is applied, the wearer will experience discomfort.

As if the problem were not complex enough, some females require that the back of the gown be lowered to increase the exposure and correspondingly attract more attention.

In this case, the horizontal forces F1 and F2(Figure 1) are no longer acting horizontally, but are acting downward at an angle shown (on one side only) by T. Therefore, there is a total downward force equal to the weight of the dress below B + the vector summation of T1 and T2. This vector sum increases in magnitude as the back is lowered because F = 2Ts in a, and the angle a increases as the back is lowered. Therefore, the vertical uplifting force which has to be supplied for equilibrium is increased for low-back gowns.

Since there is no cloth around the back of the wearer which would supply a force perpendicular to the vertical axis of the female that would keep the gown of the lady from falling forward, the engineer has to resort to bone and wire frameworks to supply the sufficient perpendicular forces. (Falling of dress forward, away from the wearer, is considered unfair tactics among females.)

If the actual force supplied is divided by the minimum force that is required to hold the dress up, the resulting quotient defines a factor of safety. This factor could be made as large as desired, but the engineers are required to keep the framework light and inconspicuous. Therefore, a compromise must be made between a heavy framework and a low factor of safety.

With ingenious use of these frameworks, the backs of strapless gowns may be lowered until cleavage is impending.

Assuming that the female is naturally endowed to supply the vertical force V, the problem is still left incomplete unless an analysis is made of the structures supplying this force. These structures are of the nature of cantilever beams. Figure 2 shows one of these cantilever beams (minus any aesthetical details) removed as a free body (and indeed, many such beams can be, in reality, removed as free bodies; e.g., certain artifacts). Since there are usually two such divided, the force acting on any one beam is F/2 and it is distributed over the beam from a. to c. Here exposure and correspondingly more attention can be had by moving the dress line from a. toward b. Unfortunately, there is a limit stress defined by S = F/2A (A being the area over which the stress acts). Since F/2 is constant, if the area A is decreased, the bearing stress must increase. The limit of exposure is reached when the area between b and c is reduced to a value of "danger point."

A second condition exists which limits the amount of exposure. Vertical force F/2 is balanced by sheer force S acting on an area from d to e and by an internal moment M. The moment M causes tension in the fibers over the beams between e and a, and compression in the fibers between c and d. As the dress line is moved from A toward B, the moment M is increased, increasing the tension and compression again till "danger point."

Since these evening gowns are worn to dances, an occasional horizontal force, shown in Figure 2 as i1, is accidentally delivered to the beam at the point c, causing impact loading, which compresses all the fibers of the beam. This compression tends to cancel the tension in the fibers between e and b, but it increases the compression between c and d. The critical area is at point d, as the fibers here are subject not only to compression due to moment and impact, but also to shear due to force S; a combination of low, heavy dress with impact loading may bring the fibers at point d to the "danger point."

There are several reasons why the properties discussed in this paper have never been determined. For one, there is a scarcity of these beams for experimental investigation. Many females have been asked to volunteer for experiments along these lines in the interest of science, but unfortunately, no cooperation was encountered. There is also the difficulty of the investigator having the strength of mind to ascertain purely the scientific facts. Meanwhile, trial and error and shrewd guesses will have to be used by the engineer in the design of strapless evening gowns until thorough investigations can be made.>>

[owlice]

Boob physics. Appropriate or inappropriate for an astronomy forum? These are the questions I ask myself.

I guess it depends on whether the astronomy forum is targeted to 14-year-old boys. Wasn't aware until now that this one apparently is.

[neufer]

Boob physics. Appropriate or inappropriate for an astronomy forum? These are the questions I ask myself.

I guess it depends on whether the astronomy forum is targeted to 14-year-old boys. Wasn't aware until now that this one apparently is.

• Or even younger:

India’s First Mars Mission Set to Blast off Seeking Methane Signature
by Ken Kremer, Universe Today, October 17, 2013

[b][color=#0000FF]Graphic outlines India’s first ever probe to explore the Red Planet known as the Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM). It could liftoff as early as Oct. 28 from the Satish Dhawan Space Centre SHAR, Srihairkota, India. Credit: ISRO[/color][/b]

---

<<India is gearing up for its first ever space undertaking to the Red Planet – dubbed the Mars Orbiter Mission, or MOM – which is the brainchild of the Indian Space Research Organization, or ISRO. Among other objectives, MOM will conduct a highly valuable search for potential signatures of Martian methane – which could stem from either living or non living sources. The historic Mars bound probe also serves as a forerunner to bolder robotic exploration goals. If all goes well India would become only the 4th nation or entity from Earth to survey Mars up close with spacecraft, following the Soviet Union, the United States and the European Space Agency (ESA). The 1,350 kilogram orbiter, also known as ‘Mangalyaan’, is slated to blast off as early as Oct. 28 atop India’s highly reliable Polar Satellite Launch Vehicle (PSLV) from a seaside launch pad in Srihanikota, India.

MOM is outfitted with an array of five science instruments including a multi color imager and a methane gas sniffer to study the Red Planet’s atmosphere, morphology, mineralogy and surface features. Methane on Earth originates from both biological and geological sources. ISRO officials are also paying close attention to the local weather to ascertain if remnants from Tropical Cyclone Phaillin or another developing weather system in the South Pacific could impact liftoff plans.

‘Mangalyaan’ is undergoing final prelaunch test and integration at ISRO’s Satish Dhawan Space Centre SHAR, Srihairkota on the east coast of Andhra Pradesh state following shipment from ISRO’s Bangalore assembly facility on Oct. 3. ISRO has already assembled the more powerful XL extended version of the four stage PSLV launcher at Srihairkota.

MOM’s launch window extends about three weeks until Nov. 19 – which roughly coincides with the opening of the launch window for NASA’s next mission to Mars, the MAVEN orbiter. MAVEN’s on time blastoff from Florida on Nov. 18, had been threatened by the chaos caused by the partial US government shutdown that finally ended this morning (Oct. 17), until the mission was granted an ‘emergency exemption’ due to the critical role it will play in relaying data from NASA’s ongoing pair of surface rovers – Curiosity and Opportunity.

MOM’s science complement comprises includes the tri color Mars Color Camera to image the planet and its two moon, Phobos and Diemos; the Lyman Alpha Photometer to measure the abundance of hydrogen and deuterium and understand the planets water loss process; a Thermal Imaging Spectrometer to map surface composition and mineralogy, the MENCA mass spectrometer to analyze atmospheric composition, and the Methane Sensor for Mars to measure traces of potential atmospheric methane down to the ppm level. It will be of extremely great interest to compare any methane detection measurements from MOM to those ongoing from NASA’s Curiosity rover – which found ground level methane to be essentially nonexistent – and Europe’s planned 2016 ExoMars Trace Gas Orbiter.

The 44 meter PSLV will launch MOM into an initially elliptical Earth parking orbit of 248 km x 23,000 km. A series of six orbit raising burns will eventually dispatch MOM on a trajectory to Mars by late November, assuming an Oct. 28 liftoff. Following a 300 day interplanetary cruise phase, the do or die orbital insertion engine will fire on September 14, 2014 and place MOM into an 377 km x 80,000 km elliptical orbit. (NASA’s MAVEN is also due to arrive in Mars orbit during September 2014.) The $69 Million ‘Mangalyaan’ mission is expected to continue gathering measurements at the Red Planet for at least six months and perhaps ten months or longer.>>

[geckzilla]

"India's First Mars Mission to Seek Martian Farts"
Layman's translation.

[makc]

What are you saying, that noone older than 14 appreciates bouncing boobs? Nonsense. And maybe a bit of jelly.

[Beyond]

"India's First Mars Mission to Seek Martian Farts"
Layman's translation.

Geckzilla! That's as good baad as farting in church and sitting in your own pew.

[neufer]

"India's First Mars Mission to Seek Martian Farts"

Layman's translation.

The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night: A Plain and Literal Translation of the Arabian Nights Entertainments, translated by Richard F. Burton, vol. 5, pp. 135-137

<<They recount that in the city of Kaukaban in Yemen there was a man named Abu Hasan of the Fadhli tribe who left the Bedouin life and became a townsman and the wealthiest of merchants. His wife died while both were young, and his friends pressed him to marry again.

Weary of their pressure, Abu Hasan entered into negotiations with the old women who procure matches, and married a woman as beautiful as the moon shining over the sea. To the wedding banquet he invited kith and kin, ulema and fakirs, friends and foes, and all of his acquaintances.

The whole house was thrown open to feasting: There were five different colors of rice, and sherbets of as many more; kid goats stuffed with walnuts, almonds, and pistachios; and a young camel roasted whole. So they ate and drank and made merry.

The bride was displayed in her seven dresses -- and one more -- to the women, who could not take their eyes off her. At last the bridegroom was summoned to the chamber where she sat enthroned. He rose slowly and with dignity from his divan; but in do doing, for he was over full of meat and drink, he let fly a great and terrible fart.

In fear for their lives, all the guests immediately turned to their neighbors and talked aloud, pretending to have heard nothing.

Mortified, Abu Hasan turned away from the bridal chamber and as if to answer a call of nature. He went down to the courtyard, saddled his mare, and rode off, weeping bitterly through the night.

In time he reached Lahej where he found a ship ready to sail for India; so he boarded, arriving ultimately at Calicut on the Malabar coast. Here he met with many Arabs, especially from Hadramaut, who recommended him to the King. This King (who was a Kafir) trusted him and advanced him to the captaincy of his bodyguard. He remained there ten years, in peace and happiness, but finally was overcome with homesickness. His longing to behold his native land was like that of a lover pining for his beloved; and it nearly cost him his life.

Finally he sneaked away without taking leave and made his way to Makalla in Hadramaut. Here he donned the rags of a dervish. Keeping his name and circumstances a secret, he set forth on foot for Kaukaban. He endured a thousand hardships of hunger, thirst, and fatigue; and braved a thousand dangers from lions, snakes, and ghouls.

Drawing near to his old home, he looked down upon it from the hills with brimming eyes, and said to himself, "They might recognize me, so I will wander about the outskirts and listen to what people are saying. May Allah grant that they do not remember what happened."

He listened carefully for seven nights and seven days, until it happened that, as he was sitting at the door of a hut, he heard the voice of a young girl saying, "Mother, tell me what day was I born on, for one of my companions wants to tell my fortune."

The mother answered, "My daughter, you were born on the very night when Abu Hasan farted."

No sooner had the listener heard these words than he rose up from the bench and fled, saying to himself, "Verily my fart has become a date! It will be remembered for ever and ever.

He continued on his way, returning finally to India, where he remained in self exile until he died. May the mercy of Allah be upon him!>>

<<In John Aubrey's Brief Lives is the story of the Earl of Oxford [Edward de Vere], who bowed deeply to the first Queen Elizabeth and accidentally farted. Overcome with shame he vanished from court and spent seven years travelling. On his hesitant return, the queen greeted him with: "My Lord, I had forgott the Fart.">>

[geckzilla]

Hah... I definitely got the hard part of that aspect for my own relationship... Pat always snickers with delight at my reactions while simultaneously being unable to detect his own odor. So rarely is the situation reversed that I have to seek revenge through other means.

[makc]

unable to detect his own odor

why do people keep saying that? this is urban legend. if your nose works you can smell it.

[Beyond]

Phew , this thread is turning out to be a real gas

[geckzilla]

unable to detect his own odor

why do people keep saying that? this is urban legend. if your nose works you can smell it.

He says he can't. Given his lack of reaction I believe him.

[Chris Peterson]

unable to detect his own odor

why do people keep saying that? this is urban legend. if your nose works you can smell it.

He says he can't. Given his lack of reaction I believe him.

It isn't usually claimed that people can't smell themselves, only that they don't usually find their own odor objectionable. That, too, would explain a lack of reaction.

[geckzilla]

I'll ask for a clarification next time it happens. He's always indicated that he can't smell it at all, though, not that it isn't objectionable to him. The only explanation he gives is that he smells horrible things all day at the hospital and that has somehow reduced his sense of smell. Kind of like how when you go on vacation for a week and come back and notice your house has a particular smell that you were accustomed to and therefore couldn't separate from normal air.

[Chris Peterson]

Kind of like how when you go on vacation for a week and come back and notice your house has a particular smell that you were accustomed to and therefore couldn't separate from normal air.

Speak for your own house...

[neufer]

[size=150][color=#0000FF]Today's Frank & Earnest Cartoon[/color][/size]

---

[geckzilla]

Kind of like how when you go on vacation for a week and come back and notice your house has a particular smell that you were accustomed to and therefore couldn't separate from normal air.

Speak for your own house...

You've never smelled that at all? I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it's like a signature smell combination of all the types of food you eat, soaps, fabric softener, house construction materials, etc. I've noticed it in all sorts of houses I visit, not just my own which I can't smell unless I've been gone for a while.

[Chris Peterson]

Kind of like how when you go on vacation for a week and come back and notice your house has a particular smell that you were accustomed to and therefore couldn't separate from normal air.

Speak for your own house...

You've never smelled that at all? I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it's like a signature smell combination of all the types of food you eat, soaps, fabric softener, house construction materials, etc. I've noticed it in all sorts of houses I visit, not just my own which I can't smell unless I've been gone for a while.

Just kidding.

[geckzilla]

Oh,
Whoops, it's a 2 megs gif file.

[Beyond]

Just kidding.

He does have goats, ya know.

[makc]

well it is also said that you can't hear the clock ticking because your brain blocks it. this is as much true as the opposite thing - remember when you couldn't sleep at night because damn clock is ticking? any way, I find it quite easy to switch between these states at will.

[geckzilla]

You are now breathing manually.

[Chris Peterson]

Just kidding.

He does have goats, ya know.

We try to discourage their presence in the house. (And we don't have bucks... they're the smelly ones.)

[Beyond]

So the 'buck' doesn't stop here... at the abode of the Abominable Snowman.