Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
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- Don't bring me down
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
Having just endured the PUNishment of having spent the last 2+ hours reading this entire thread (owlice should have assigned it for my recent infraction ) I report my favorite to be BMAONE23’s Governmentium post way back on page one. There are many others that are good too, and some of the bad ones are so bad that they’re good, so any cheaters who have jumped ahead to the end of the thread shouldn’t feel that reading the entire morass isn’t worth the time.
I love science, but also being a deeply re..(OOPHS, talking about that is FROUND UPON, IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT)..ous person, back when the confirmation of the existence of the Higg’s boson was all over the news earlier this year I had become mildly offended by all the talk of “The God Particle.” I wondered if this cheesy expression (and book title) shouldn’t be distasteful to both atheist and believer alike. I was told that it’s commonly observed that whenever famous astronomers or physicists give a public talk there are always so called “mystics” in attendance, so I raised the concern about the potential rise of particle worshiping Higg’s Bosonites.
Has anyone observed any signs of Bosonite-ism spreading across the planet? Oh my ___! What if they plan on assembling together on the day the Mayan calendar ends, and the Higg’s bosons, getting all puffed up from all the worship, decide to attend. Since the mass of each Higg’s boson is 126 times the mass of a proton, and since each boson is its own anti-particle…
I love science, but also being a deeply re..(OOPHS, talking about that is FROUND UPON, IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT)..ous person, back when the confirmation of the existence of the Higg’s boson was all over the news earlier this year I had become mildly offended by all the talk of “The God Particle.” I wondered if this cheesy expression (and book title) shouldn’t be distasteful to both atheist and believer alike. I was told that it’s commonly observed that whenever famous astronomers or physicists give a public talk there are always so called “mystics” in attendance, so I raised the concern about the potential rise of particle worshiping Higg’s Bosonites.
Has anyone observed any signs of Bosonite-ism spreading across the planet? Oh my ___! What if they plan on assembling together on the day the Mayan calendar ends, and the Higg’s bosons, getting all puffed up from all the worship, decide to attend. Since the mass of each Higg’s boson is 126 times the mass of a proton, and since each boson is its own anti-particle…
Just as zero is not equal to infinity, everything coming from nothing is illogical.
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
While a plane is crashing, a woman gets up, opens her blouse and screams: 'Who let me feel like a real woman once again?'
Suddenly a man stands up, takes his t-shirt off and shouts: 'Here, wash it!"
That was bad, Moonlady!
Suddenly a man stands up, takes his t-shirt off and shouts: 'Here, wash it!"
That was bad, Moonlady!
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
Reminds me of a poem I once wrote which went something like this:Moonlady wrote:While a plane is crashing, a woman gets up, opens her blouse and screams: 'Who let me feel like a real woman once again?'
Suddenly a man stands up, takes his t-shirt off and shouts: 'Here, wash it!"
That was bad, Moonlady!
Unknown man to unknown woman: Will you do me for a couple of bucks?
Unknown woman to unknown man: Not for money, but if you clean up and wash up.
Unknown man to the universe: Women are unreasonable....
Ann
Color Commentator
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
A man goes to the doctor
The Doctor says "Sir, you are going to have to stop touching yourself so much"
The man asks "Why?"
the Doctor replies..."So I can examine you!"
The Doctor says "Sir, you are going to have to stop touching yourself so much"
The man asks "Why?"
the Doctor replies..."So I can examine you!"
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
Was he a genius or what?
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
Did i make an astronomicaly bad joke (or good) ?Doum wrote:Was he a genius or what?
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
YESDoum wrote:Did i make an astronomicaly bad joke (or good) ?Doum wrote:Was he a genius or what?
To find the Truth, you must go Beyond.
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
When you convert too much energy to matter; the scales say...GET OFF ME!!
To find the Truth, you must go Beyond.
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
What is the worst part about reading a book about Anti Gravity?
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
Hello, my name is Moonlady and I am from an ancient spaceship called the Moon!
You dont believe me? Watch this:
As much as it is not scientific, I think it makes a good bedtime fairy tale for kids because its training the creativity
You dont believe me? Watch this:
Click to play embedded YouTube video.
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
Video is self explanatory
Click to play embedded YouTube video.
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
I love the Moon Spaceship presentation, Moonlady! I wonder where the entrance to the ship is, though. Well, there was an APOD just the other day showing an "egg" in the Tycho crater. I guess that egg has something to do with the Moon being a ship - perhaps Mom laid an egg before she had time to get inside again!
Ann
Ann
Color Commentator
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
!hcou … raB a otni sklaw cixelsyD A
- neufer
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Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
BMAONE23 wrote:
!hcou … raB a otni sklaw cixelsyD A
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/J%27uoch wrote:
<<J'uoch was the twin sister of R'all and leader of a criminal mining outfit located on the planet Dellalt. The camp was overrun by the reactivated Guardian Corps from Xim the Despot. She had Lanni Troujow killed in an attempt to find a data disk which contained information regarding the whereabouts of the treasure ship Queen of Ranroon. In her search for the data disk she and her band of outlaws stole the Millennium Falcon from Han Solo on Dellalt. In 2 BBY she was pushed from a bridge on Dellalt while fighting with Hasti Troujow.>>
Art Neuendorffer
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
Oh... now i got it. When the dyslexic walked into the bar, it spun him around, and disoreintated him enough, to where he said ouch! wrongly and backwards, so it came out !hcou.BMAONE23 wrote:!hcou … raB a otni sklaw cixelsyD A
To find the Truth, you must go Beyond.
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
neufer wrote:http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/J%27uoch wrote:
<<J'uoch was the twin sister of R'all and leader of a criminal mining outfit located on the planet Dellalt. The camp was overrun by the reactivated Guardian Corps from Xim the Despot. She had Lanni Troujow killed in an attempt to find a data disk which contained information regarding the whereabouts of the treasure ship Queen of Ranroon. In her search for the data disk she and her band of outlaws stole the Millennium Falcon from Han Solo on Dellalt. In 2 BBY she was pushed from a bridge on Dellalt while fighting with Hasti Troujow.>>
http://wookieepedia.org/ wrote:Hroaorouaoaao rauuoiraau woaoaaraaoauuh rouaohvaoaaaa wuaauowaao ruoayaaarruu. Whoaoowuaooaroaaa wuoooorrouoauaw naauua rruoavaoo naooaorroua noooo! Nwuoaowwoauanauaaa ruuaaon haaaoawaaaau royauruaiu wauaiugoouoa wouaouwaaaooa vaaauanoyouo, rruaou nauio royoayraoiu hooioyuavaooau, huaoou wooawuoaaa rraaaaawoaur moaau mou, ruoauoaamauaa voauooahuaua wuooao rouooavrraauaao nooaonouoa rriuouooruuua. Rraauou wuuiuoauvooa raaiahuoaaoo hoaouarwauuua maaooraauauu raoouo. Wwuoao wuuaarauouoo wraaaooaorauo raanauoau vaaroaauui ruuuaua! Rrryaoaoroaoawauau roaonauooa rruaaao huouurroauuo waoaa vauwoaa, haauuuhuuooooa nuoauoou vaaua nauaohuuoao rauaaaor!
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
You would not believe it, but they actually hope for antigravity at CERNBMAONE23 wrote:What is the worst part about reading a book about Anti Gravity?
http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/01/06/freezing-antimatter-could-allow-scientists-to-study-it/ wrote:“We want anti-hydrogen atoms as cold as possible in our trap, and by cold I mean not moving. In particular, to measure the gravitational properties, antihydrogen in our trap is still moving way too fast. So this paper has shown that the technique called laser cooling can be applied in our experimental set-up,” ... “Nobody has ever seen antimatter falling down,” Mr. Fujiwara said.
- neufer
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No one has seen Auntie Mame falling down.
Click to play embedded YouTube video.
If antimatter were to fall up then Hawking radiation would literally go berserkmakc wrote:
You would not believe it,
but they actually hope for antigravity at CERNhttp://news.nationalpost.com/2013/01/06/freezing-antimatter-could-allow-scientists-to-study-it/ wrote:
“We want anti-hydrogen atoms as cold as possible in our trap, and by cold I mean not moving. In particular, to measure the gravitational properties, antihydrogen in our trap is still moving way too fast. So this paper has shown that the technique called laser cooling can be applied in our experimental set-up,”
“Nobody has ever seen antimatter falling down,”
Mr. Fujiwara said.
Art (definitely not no one) Neuendorfferhttp://arxiv.org/ftp/gr-qc/papers/0612/0612088.pdf wrote:
Black Holes and Gravitational Properties of Antimatter
Dragan Slavkov Hajdukovic
PH Division CERN
CH-1211 Geneva 23
dragan.hajdukovic@cern.ch
<<The gravitational properties of antimatter are still a secret of nature. One outstanding possibility is that there is a gravitational repulsion between matter and antimatter (in short we call it antigravity). We argue that in the case of antigravity the collapse of a black hole doesn't end with singularity and that deep inside the horizon, the gravitational field may be sufficiently strong to create (from the vacuum) neutrino-antineutrino pairs of all flavours. The created antineutrinos should be violently ejected outside the horizon of a black hole composed from matter. Our rudimentary calculations suggest that both, the supermassive black hole in the centre of our Galaxy and in the centre of the Andromeda Galaxy may produce a flux of antineutrinos measurable with the new generation of one cubic kilometre neutrino telescopes. In addition, we suggest two signatures of antigravity in the case of microscopic black holes which may be eventually produced at CERN: the decay products should exhibit a strong matter-antimatter asymmetry and the Hawking radiation should not be the main mechanism for decay.
Without recourse to any quantitative estimation, it is immediately clear that non-thermal radiation caused by antigravity must dominate Hawking's radiation. In fact, the pair production of the most massive particle-antiparticle pairs is happening deep inside the horizon while Hawking radiation comes from the close vicinity of the Schwarzschild radius. Thus, if the decay of (eventually produced) mini black holes is dominated by non-thermal radiation, it should be considered as a signature of antigravity. . So, non-thermal radiation corresponds to shorter wavelengths (i.e. higher frequencies, energies and masses).>>
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
Current Pope resigned, Vatican needs a new Pope. I vote for him:
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
I think I posted this before, but
Meet agent Sagan.
Click to play embedded YouTube video.
Re: Astronomically Bad Jokes (Or good)
Know the quiet place within your heart and touch the rainbow of possibility; be
alive to the gentle breeze of communication, and please stop being such a jerk. — Garrison Keillor
alive to the gentle breeze of communication, and please stop being such a jerk. — Garrison Keillor